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Sunday, April 30, 2017

Instead of saying...(free flow of thoughts)

Ahhhh..long time no blogging,guys!
Life has been pretty..well..I won't say hectic,but I sure am really stressed right now.
(Proof of this is how horrible my skin looks right now..pimples galore!..really bad!)
You see..I'm re taking ochem and physics and I am still in the process of figuring out how I study best for those.
And that,believe me,is stressing me out way more that the actual studying is.
Yes,lame.

I'm realising that one of the most difficult things about college/uni/higher education is understanding how you study best(and by this I mean how you retain and understand information! I'm not talking grades here. Grades DO NOT define you.) for x,y,z subjects.

The way you study for pathology might be difficult from the way you study for orgo.
And the way your "perfect classmate who makes As everytime"studies might not work for you.
And that DOES NOT mean you are stupid or dumb.
It just means you're different and you learn differently from that person.
We are all different and THAT'S OKAY.  That's normal.

Okay,now that I'm done with giving myself a pep talk(yes,you caught me! I need to tell myself those things every day),let's move on to something else.

This morning I realised I say "I hate biotech"(or "I hate being stuck here. I hate having CP"...) way too many times.
And that's not good.
Yes,biotech has never been part of "my plans".
Yes,3 years ago I would have never thought I would have ended up here.
Yes,it's not my favourite and I don't have a passion for every class I have to take( e.g. I loved pathology and med chem and physiology. I struggled with molecular biology and I still can't believe I passed it with low grade A the second time I took it) but,let's face it..even in med school there are gonna be "yay!"classes and "so-so" classes and "uhhh,this is torture!" classes,I'm sure.
It's just how it is.
You can't have the rainbow without a little rain,right?
And if something doesn't challenge you,it won't change you,right?

So..from today,I will try not to say "I hate biotech" or "I hate this,this and this" or "Oh,if only I were there instead of here. If only I were/had this or that..."

INSTEAD I will try to say:

"Biotech has never been part of my plans but I can learn so much from it,both school wise and experience wise. So I will try to embrace it and get the most out of it instead of hating it."

"I do feel like I should have moved out by now and I hate CP because it has made me live in a bubble my whole life and now I feel so behind. 
I'm not as stuck as I think I am, though.
I have gone on a trip on my own. I have  passed  10 (might be more,don't wanna count them) college level  science classes.
I have learned to walked in flip flops. 
I am able to cook my own food and  I have discovered a passion for baking. 
I have lost nearly 40 pounds and walked a lot more than I thought I could.
I am now able to wear rings and knee lenght boots for the first time in my life!!(whaat?).
I wore shorts this summer. SHORTS!  ME!
So no..I'm not as stuck as I think I am. I've made a lot of progress and I have grown.
Therefore..I should not feel that bad about "being stuck" because I'm not actually in the same place I was 3 years ago. I have grown a lot."





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